pinkhairthing

Dear Pinky,
I am having a very serious problem. I have lost my street cred, I fear, irrevocably. Last weekend, I was walking into the Soho Grand (strike 1) in a pink raincoat with a big pink flower on it (strike 2) with my MOTHER (strikes 3 - 809). I looked up to see a very cute little doggy indeed walking down the stairs. So I said, "Oh, what a cute little doggy," looking at the doggy, who, as I believe I mentioned, was cute and little. As I uttered this pithy and insightful, and above all punk rock phrase, I was mostly talking to the dog, but glanced up at the end to smile at the owners, to show my approval of their CLD. The thing is Pinky, I had just told Lou Reed and Laurie Anderson that they had a CUTE LITTLE DOGGY. So when Lou Reed's next album comes out, and its about how he had to leave NYC for somewhere cooler, because now it was just filled with a bunch of suburban idiots with no edge whatsoever, and it's called "Cute Little Doggies" it's all my fault. Oh my God, what have I done? Is there any way to be cool again? Please help me Pinky-Wan. You're my only hope.
Signed,
Vicious, I hit him with a (pink) flower

Dear totally not-vicious,
I am not your only hope. You are a hopeless case. Not only can you never be cool again, you may have damaged the coolness of all of New York City, and hence, the world. Thanks a lot. Don't ever write me here again.