pinkhairthing

Well last year around this time I knew I would want to write about the wedding but didn't have the wherewithal. But I also knew if I waited too long I wouldn't remember stuff. So, I jotted a list of memories, and as I read them today, I realized they are just so much better than some shitty essay with a lot of editorializing. So here, unexpurgated, unexplained, and unplugged, are my post-wedding notes:

Thursday, May 27
“Anything gets in our way, we kill it.” – Uncle George, re the squirrel invasion. Is this the official wedding weekend policy? Phil with a hockey stick on the roof, a ladder in the driveway, and a rifle, being both instructed by and watched by various police officers.
Clogged pipes, greasy explosion in the kitchen which Virg woke up at 4 to clean. Putting the car in reverse in the driveway to see if I could escape the madness - "Great! You guys obviously have all this under control..." Sausage run.
Meeting Elijah and Denise, dinner at East Garden where we run into proud uncle Levent. Matt and Carrie coloring and watching Friends

Friday, May 28
Sara and Amo arrive! Amo teaches Matt to ride a bike so I can marry him.
Sad times at Kinkos, Happiness at the big church/offset printing place on Oakland and Big Gay Al telling us about Scotty’s Crab House. Al assumes Amo is my fiance. I correct him, and he says, "Well, I knew you had to marry one of them." "So did I" I say.
Matt's parents arrive for Fish Fry.
Karaoke: Virg as Petula in an ode to Meteetse, Sara and Carrie in I Will Survive, the drunk girls, Cliff singing Eminem well, Viva Las Vegas with 2 mikes, Carrie as Blondie, Matt as Hell, We are Family, Uncle Phil, Amo singing you shook me all night long, Matt winning shot for identifying Bangkok oriental city after 2nd note then singing it.

Saturday, May 29
the families meet. The children call Matt Mr. Weedpants, explaining, "You have weeds in your pants." Trevor is incredulous we have to practice getting married, then informs us "You can't get married until you're 35, Mr. Smartypants."
rehearsal, mean kids at Kopps “Hey you kids, fuck off. No, really. Fuck. Off.” Alex's shake tastes like...ass? Von Triers. Then home to a backyard full of stars, magic, sad it is all about to be over and all my favorite people will disperse.

Sunday
Monsoon. Tornado warnings. Mom and me at emergency bouquet conference at Sendiks. Aveda hair lady does not feel me. Bagpiper a no-show. Kids in the mist, people are ululating
We marry - confetti fountain, ginsburg, whitman, divorce, alice in wonderland, ribtips, bubbles, we are family. so many really gorgeous great people. music. car, but no keys.
“Both ideas are valid, but from now on, I’ll be giving the directions.” – Carrie to Matt and Danyon, trying to get back to the hotel after the wedding.
After party at gay greek rainbow underwater disco. Kate and Amo? Juan and who?

Monday
“Oh, fuck the homeless.” – Mom, to Carrie’s suggestion that we donate leftover cake to the homeless. Ultimate Frisbee-Tennis. Natasha helping Kate flick a frisbee. Amo leaves the country. Juan buys us all some Chinese food.

The end.