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Monday, December 19, 2005
So my stapes bones had an inferiority complex, being the smallest little bones around, and decided to grow enormous stalagtites of calcium on themselves. They thusly grew large and mighty, but at the expense of function. Therefore, my right ear is now bionic, and on Wednesday, I am going in to have my left ear bionicized as well. It is not fun, there is general anaesthesia and a night at the hospital and lots of head spins, but then I will be able to tear a phone book in half with my hearing. At least that's what they told me.

So hold me safe in your thoughts at the crack of ass on Wednesday, and wish me well enough to eat cookies by Christmas, my one major healing goal.

A very merry christmas to all, except Bill O'Reilly, whom I wish a joyous pagan feast of the equinox.

posted by pinky 12:57 PM

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